the good: casual parachute packer required

Do I even need to write an article about this? I think the job advertisement speaks for itself don’t you? It gave me a good laugh. Firstly, you should never put the word ‘casual’ in front of the words ‘parachute packers’. There should be nothing casual at all about that job. For any people thinking about throwing themselves out of a plane, it might be a bit off-putting to read that it is a pop-in and pop-out kind of job. The sort of job where you can be having a drink at the pub and the sky-diving company has a bit of a run of customers and you get the call to come in and pack a few parachutes. Cue raised eyebrows from me.

Secondly, if I’m jumping out of a plane I don’t actually want to know that a human packed my parachute, never mind a casual human. Just look at the plane crashes that happen. The majority are down to human error. I instead want my parachute to look like a machine has put it together according to an exact mechanical process, and that it is new and unused. Even if a casual parachute packer has put it together, I do not want to know. I want to be like an ostrich, with my head in the sand, even if I end up like an ostrich with my head in the sand.

And thirdly, I have to take your word for it that your casual human has done a good job. And I have to take your word for it all the way up until I am careening head first towards earth, because guess what? That is when I will know that my parachute has met the requisite quality packing specifications. Kind of an interesting concept when it comes to the ability to trust in someone don’t you think? I am clearly a human with trust issues. Especially when a breach of trust can see me end up like a human pancake.